I spend much if not most of my time resisting the thoughts and ideas of others, as well as their lifestyles. I am also always resisting the writing process, which I will henceforth no longer write about (I write about it thinking that I will come back to it, but the time has come for me to realize I will not come back to it, and that it in itself is part of my process of running away.)

So it is that I spend much if not most of my time resisting the thoughts and ideas of others. I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed, waiting to be annoyed by one status or another. I’m pretty much nondiscriminatory when it comes to who can annoy me in such a manner. I will wait for one piece of language or another to irk and annoy me and set me off on a tirade in my mind. Ugh, how could he say that. Ugh, why would she say it like that. And here I am, sitting mighty and haughty, above them all, thinking that I am learning, I am researching for my writing, when really, I am running. I am running from having my own thoughts. I am feeble and weak so I poke at the thoughts of others, rather than formulate, digest, prod, and deconstruct my own. Why not write and challenge my own thoughts. Why not argue against and with myself. Why not grow my own mind instead of laughing and mocking the growth of others.

So here I am, beginning the process of looking inwards and resisting something, which is the desire to fall into the judging of others, and to turn the eye inward and then look out.

I do have a lot to say, and I hope I will say it. I hope I now understand, too, that it will not be perfect, but it will be a reflection of what I thought and felt in a moment, an exploration of a time, rather than a stamp and exclamation of Truth.

On religious rhetoric

I finally figured out in a concise way to explain what drives me absolutely nuts when I hear religious rhetoric. It’s the way that it is framed in a manner that asks the reader to abandon critical thought and embrace the edict or verdict or whatever it may be with open arms because, well, a package wrapped in good, that speaks of good, can’t be anything but good, right? And we’re supposed to love everything good, and it would be bad not to, right?

I don’t want to say “wrong,” but I take issue with framing good to be accepted without critical thought. I think this creates a community that loses the ability to see people as people, and to see more to a situation than black and white, Good versus Bad.

There are far and many complexities and intricacies that get lost with such thinking, and a richness is lost in feeling and thinking and learning and growing.

Just because something is good, on paper, or in words, doesn’t mean that it must be emblazoned in gold, framed, and hung over everyone’s lives as The Truth. The Truth is human life and experience, and words are by which we come to learn and recognize these experiences, not the other way around.

Solo Flash Mob

The new AT&T flash mob commercial is the story of my life: both being the last to know everything part, and the embarassingly awkward solo flash mob at the train station part.

Thank you for so candidly capturing my life.

Coco Before Chanel

I recently watched the film, Coco Before Chanel, starring Audrey Tautou, directed by Anne Fontaine.

What a film. I truly enjoyed Ms. Fontaine’s interpretation of Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel’s life.

Still of Audrey Tautou in Coco Before Chanel
Photo Credit Film Filla

This woman was so intriguing.

She grew up an orphan, by means of abandonment. Worked as a singer/dancer in a bar. Worked as a seamstress.

There was truly an elegance about her throughout all of these experiences.

My favorite moment that I drew from was a pivotal moment in her life, where she really did “stand up” and “take a risk.”

That risk led us to know her, led her to become, a true embodiment of her strength, elegance, and work ethic: one of the largest and best designers in the world. Certainly one of the most well known.

I recommend this as a watch. It’s a true inspiration, of someone who was who she was, and became beautiful through it.

P.S. It contains all the right elements of a girly movie: hot guy, sentimental story, etc.