Facebook’s Greatest Hits: Food

I’ve said a lot of silly things on Facebook over the years. Here’s a few on food:

“We don’t have chips, and it’s driving me nuts” / food puns

My understanding is that if you don’t burp a baby after they eat, they will explode.

Chai made with 2% milk is a little offensive.

I think I just ate a pink M&M in a regular M&M pack. The thing that bothers me the most is that I’ll never know for sure because I already ate it.

I need to start playing sports; my coordination is so off, I often miss my face when I’m drinking tea.

I ate a cupcake, and then I drank a soda, and now my brain feels like Wild Rivers (water theme park).

Pakistani Version of Jack in the Box Commercial:
Son: Mom, I’m getting married
Mom: Who’s the girl!
Son: It’s not a girl… it’s bacon
Mom: TERA SATTIYA NAAS HOY, DIL FITTE MU, JUTTI NAAL MAARANGI, CHAL DAFFA HO! BACON TERA BAAP!

(While fasting) food. im thinking about food right now.

Costco security, please apprehend my father for his bulk purchasing addiction. And post this wanted sign in every warehouse club chain you can find. This man should not be allowed to enter at any cost. He will eat all your samples – all of them. (We have 22 tubes of toothpaste in our house right now – 22… 22!!! Come over and brush your teeth, it’ll be a plaque fighting party, but don’t floss because we only have four ten-packs left.)

Butter-y is better-y.

It’s never a good sign when you’re drinking water and you miss your face.

God made biryani because He loves people. This is a public service announcement.