Look, but with love: A social media rule 


For years I’ve struggled with a toxic relationship with being online. A lovely friend and I recently both shared this realization that we can feel when our being online turns from good/healthy/beneficial to pure toxic. The ironic indicator is the moment we’ve scrolled over something and didn’t like it. A switch has happened in my mind at that point and I’ve gone from appreciating something someone has shared to judging/being critical/haterating/being jealous. 

So. I made this beautiful saying a social media rule for myself. Look, but with love. The moment I find myself scrolling and hating, either renew my intentions/sense of purpose, or simply sign off. No need to actively channel negative emotions through myself and into the world. I’ve found it to be a helpful rule. 

I did just spend 20 minutes keeping up with Kim Kardashian’s instagram (and didn’t like any of her photos because I’m not trying to leave a footprint), so I’m not saying I’ve become an instagram saint or something. But rethinking how I’m going to internalize photos / what kind of energy I want to generate because of them and toward them, and just allowing myself to exit when I can’t, has been a helpful thing. 

I’ll write about why I’ve been such a hater some other time, because it took me quite a bit of unpacking to figure out why I felt the way I did in the first place.

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4 thoughts on “Look, but with love: A social media rule ”

  1. I have also struggled with this! After going through a hard break up that left me internalizing others’ happiness on social media as evidence at my own failure, I found that taking a bit of a hiatus has done me some good – I have an add on on my browser that cuts me off from Facebook after 10 minutes, which means I do a lot less scrolling, and find myself a lot happier. I think your rule will help me incorporate social media back into my life in a healthier way :) Thank you!

    1. Meneka 💜 I, too, find myself taking breaks, which is so helpful. Yet it always feels like it would be nice to have a healthier way to be online. This has helped so far and I hope it helps you! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

  2. Couldn’t agree more! Social media, and generally internet, is a place with a lot of people who share their own thoughts and ideas. No one’s way of living of beliefs are the correct and only ones. Reading or listening to people’s different points can be helpful. In my opinion, it’s the only way to figure out a subject.
    Great post!
    Thanks for sharing! :)

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