You and I may jointly find it laughable that at some point in 2017, I scrawled on an index card a new hard and fast rule: don’t be thirsty.
Like many of my life/career lessons, this one came during a phone date with one of my dear friends, writer/director/producer/Miyazaki fan Jo-Dean (@jodeanroark), as she recalled the feeling we get when we are at an event and feel simultaneously obligated and desirous of meeting/networking with certain people. And when I have met said person, they stare blankly at me, look over my head, try to escape, or say something incredibly condescending/sexist/racist etc.
I’ve learned two things:
- Show up anyway! to the rooms I want to be in, claim the rooms as equally my own because this is my industry/career/place of work and I belong, and
- Meet everyone, treat everyone well, know that I won’t and don’t have to like everyone or work with everyone, politely and swiftly and me-ly meet those people who will stare at me blankly, and know inside that one day or probably never they’ll realize my value, and that’s totally fine!
Because we all matter and I don’t need them to see that (as frustrating it is to not be taken seriously).
Be thirsty in chasing what I need to learn and grow, be thirsty in chasing and embracing and seizing and creating and living out my opportunities, but don’t be thirsty in needing anyone to see my value, because that creates an implied need within myself that I need them in some way, and I don’t. I need myself, to stand on my own feet, to value me for me, to honor my work with hard work and excellence, and to love and respect people around me and pay it forward beyond as much as I think I can.
And for the people who stared over my head, petty Nida will one day be like, “Yeah bitch, I was here the whole time, you just didn’t have the vision to see me. But also jk bc having someone force their acquaintance on you is weird / there’s alot of creepy weird people out there / you’re probably a covert introvert who hates overly familiar strangers / you’re human and trying to comprehend my relevance, and its nice to know you now.”
4 thoughts on “Don’t be thirsty ”
Lol. Don’t worry I see you! Though I’ve only just started dipping my toes, trying to navigate this writer/poet realm and it may not mean much … but I see you!!!
This was a really great post and a very well-written, positive way on how to look at networking events that it seems as though everyone hates. But you make so many great points!
Very nice written