My Pointless Pursuit of Perfection

Nida Chowdhry, writer, blog, perfectionism, writer’s block, voice, voicelessness, silence, claim your voice

It amazes me (in a non-incredulous, knowing way) how many pieces I have written here that I did not publish.

I thought for the longest time that I don’t have what it takes, the proclivity for prolificness, if I may be annoying in my words. I thought I didn’t have what it takes to write the kind of things I like reading.

Looking at this page, I’ve realized it’s not that. Continue reading “My Pointless Pursuit of Perfection”

Coming to terms with Fortnite


This is a tale in the vein of many tales before it; of people tolerating and/or hating Sunday night football and such things playing in their living room, while their significant other enjoys it.

The tale isn’t very long; it’s short.

And it’s that I now feign interest in Fortnite.

I can either avoid the living room while it’s played. Or grab a seat and watch the little doodad ride a shopping cart before the pink rays of darkness surround them.

There is some amusement to be found in watching another person be amused. Some love to be gained and bestowed in cheering on an avatar killing several other avatars, then robbing their logs and guns.

For what is life but short and sweet, and silly, too.

It doesn’t hurt to throw in a, “Wow!” “Really?” and “KILL THEM!!!!!!!!!!”

It works for basketball, too.

Is this real????

I often feel not real. Do you ever have those moments? I’ll be getting down on my knees to move a box and think, what are these arms? these legs? these wobbly limbs? are they really coming out of me? are they attached to me? what is me?(???) am I a humanoid? a robot processor mind attached to a series of images? What is all of this??? Sometimes (or once in a time) I’ll be in the middle of the ocean, looking at my hands, like. Is this real? Or is this a movie??? Am I real? Or am I someone else’s imagination? Am I my own imagination? Am I my ancestor’s imagination? Am I really my grandma??? Grandma, are you in there??? In… here?… is that you? Grandma?!?!?! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just be yourself?

It sounds like winning advice, truly. And yet in application, it’s like opening pandora’s box to find a million different Ikea parts and no instructions or idea of what to build.

“Just” be yourself

Just. Like it’s so easy. My God. Just take out the trash. Just turn on the TV. Just call your mom. Just be yourself.

Yes, just “be” yourself.

JUST BE MYSELF? Continue reading “Just be yourself?”

I’m a hermit

Nida Chowdhry, blog, writer, hermit, introvert, cartoon, I’m not hanging out with anybody, Mindy kaling, is everyone hanging out without me

I’ve been feeling really, really guilty about something for the past few years, and I recently realized – hey! I’ve always been like this!

As a kid, you could find my siblings playing outside, and me? If there was a statistic based on us, it’d be:

2 out of 3 kids are playing outside. The other one’s reading a book.

I very much preferred and prefer the company of books and television to actual human beings. Just saying that out loud makes me feel like a total monster! Continue reading “I’m a hermit”

The bar gets higher

A few years back, I met someone at an NYC networking event and we got to talking about what we were up to. When I told them I just finished the UCB Improv program, they were like, “Advanced?” (referring to the UCB advanced classes) and I was like, ::sheepishly:: “No.” And they were like, ::disappointed:: “Oh. Well… keep going.” (Read: DO YOU EVEN LIFT???)

For me, everything really has started with a step. And taking a step at a time has added up, and I have gotten further and further on my own path. But it turns out that the further I get, the length of the road ahead is all I can see. Continue reading “The bar gets higher”